Chapter 1
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| NITAI HA'ARBAYLI SAYS: DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM A BAD NEIGHBOR; AND DO NOT JOIN WITH AN EVIL PERSON. AND DO NOT DESPAIR FROM THE PAYMENT OF PUNISHMENT [of the evil doer]. |
Like his contemporary, Yehoshua be P'rachaya, who addressed the issue of creating a fertile environment for moral growth by selecting one's teacher and companion, Nitai Ha'arbayli continues in the same vein, but stress the obverse of that theorem. He focuses his attention on the conditions to avoid in order not to be influenced and contaminated by immoral and ethical contacts.
One may have a great teacher and a strong friend, but human nature is such that the influences of our surroundings wear away at the moral fiber of a human being. Even the greatest tzaddik can fall prey to his weaknesses if he permits himself to remain in an environment that constantly challenges him.
The story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife is a classic example of an environment of "yichud," being alone with a woman, challenging the strength of character of a person. Joseph is called "Yosef Hatzadik" because he mastered his desires at the very last minute, and the Midrash describes the inner struggle he suffered to do so. But how many Josephs are there? And how many fall by the wayside when put to the test of a given situation, environment?
We can broaden the concept of "environment" to the choice of the surroundings where one lives. Lot, raised by his uncle Abraham, was privileged to learn by example the virtue of Hachnasos Orchim, welcoming guests. This was the midah by which Abraham was known, par excellence, and it was imbedded in Lot's soul. But observe how the morally decadent environment of Sodom, where Lot had chosen to live, corrupted that quality.
Listen to how the torah describes the events... when the two angels sent to destroy Sodom and save Lot were the object of demands of the Sodomian citizenry. Sodom protected them in his home.
Lot went out the door to them, and he shut the door behind him. He said: "Please, my brothers, do no do any evil. Here, I have two daughters who have not known a man. I will bring them out to you and do to them whatever is good in your eyes. However, to these people do not do a thing, because they have come under the shadow of my roof." (Bereshis 19:6-8)
The values that Lot brought with him from the house of Abraham had become totally compromised and perverted. It needs no further commentary.
Nitai Ha'arbayli is addressing precisely that problem and he declares: distance yourself from a bad neighbor. "Harchayk" - keep your distance. When you choose a place to live, to buy a house, to join a group... it isn't sufficient to be content with saying he or she cannot be my friend. We shall assume that no one will knowingly choose bad friends. But even those in your environment who are not necessarily friends... are the one to distance yourself from.
Why they? How can they affect you? You have nothing to do with them.
They will affect you because what is abhorrent to you at first then becomes indifferent to you and then you become callous about wrongs and injustices and flawed character and lax observance of Torah. The Talmud states a very strange observation. "Whoever commits a sin and repeats it, it becomes permitted for him!" Is that sin really permitted now? The Talmud is reading the mind of the perpetrator.
The first sin, the first crime is the hardest. Upon stealing the first bar of candy there is a sense of guilt and shame. The second time it's easier; the storekeeper wont lose anything... it's only a bar of candy. The third time... you have a right to it. He charges too much anyway. Add to that the fact that you got away with it; you weren't caught.
Youth is filled with idealism, wanting to right the wrongs of the world. But as we grow older those injustices have just blended into the scene and are part of “that's the way things are.” There are those whose ideals haven't faded and whose standards haven't been lowered... and whose characters are pristine pure and who can hold their heads high.
DO NOT JOIN WITH AN EVIL PERSON... is an extension of the above-mentioned ideas. You wouldn't have him as a friend, you wouldn't be comfortable with him in pleasant company.... but this fellow, notwithstanding his unsavory reputation is shrewd, smart, and he knows how to succeed in business. So you want to invest with him.
Beware! says Nitai Ha'arbayli. You will sell your soul. You will revel in the success at the expense of compromising yourself...and you wont even realize the subtle changes in you at first...and then later you won't even care.
There may be a price for holding on to your ideals and principles. You may not be able to buy the house you fell in love with because the neighborhood isn't right. You may have to give up that investment opportunity because the potential partner is unsavory, and so on. And all the time you see the evildoer, the sinner, succeed. You look at yourself quizzically, and wonder if you're crazy....
Nittai Ha'arbayli energizes you and declares: DON’T DESPAIR FROM THE PUNISHMENT that will be visited upon the evildoers, the sinners, the rogues, and the thieves. Their success is also a part of a divine scheme, as is your firm stance in the face of it all. In the end they will fall but you will survive.
You can live with yourself. You will have raised honorable children in an upright fashion. They will reap the blessing of Hashem.
Read Chapter 1 of T'hillim (Psalms).
2.Consider the effect of environment on raising children.