MAKE A TEACHER FOR YOURSELF . . .

Yehoshua Ben Prachya is emphasizing that if you want to learn Torah you must have a teacher. Self study is great, but it can never match the transmission of knowledge, of Torah with the deep meaning and understanding in the nuances of Torah.

Accept the authority of a Master of Torah, while you are in the process of learning and absorbing Torah. The doubts, the paradoxes and the apparent inconsistencies that you encounter in learning MUST have answers if you are to learn, and only a rebbe can steer you in the path and show you what the Torah's view is on the specific matters. It is axiomatic that a disciple must submerge his will, his personality, while under the discipline of his teacher, his rebbe. This is the only way he will absorb Torah.

The use of the phrase a'say (make) a rebbe for yourself, may sound somewhat awkward. How do you make a rebbe?

Our teachers understood this phrase to mean that even if you cannot find an outstanding scholar under whom you would want to learn... accept upon yourself the authority of a man of lesser status... but whose way of life and carriage and stature are exemplary. He, too, gives you guidance through life.

We find this exemplified in the Mishna in a later chapter (Avos 6, Mishna 3). David, King of Israel, a leading Torah scholar of his generation, learned but two matters of Torah from Achitophel and yet regarded him as his master. The Mishna infers: how much more is one obliged to show respect and honor to his teacher of Torah!

Rambam (Miamonides) observes further on this point. that even if a man cannot find anyone more proficient than himself in Torah, he should still make a rebbe for himself, because in addition to help him see issues clearly and to resolve doubts... accepting a Master develops and nurtures the qualities of awe and respect for one who is great in Torah and Midos (ethics).

This concept is wrapped up in the Hebrew word Ka'vod. We use the word ka'vod in terms such as "ka'vod ha'Torah" (honor for the Torah) or "ka'vod ha'rav" (honor for the rabbi). The Torah uses that word in the Ten Commandments; Ka'bayd es avicha v'es i'mecha: Honor your father and your mother.

But the root of the word is Kuf... Beis... Dalet, which is also the root of the word "ka'vayd," meaning heavy or weighty.

The relationship between the two words now becomes apparent. Ka'vod (honor, respect) is the feeling of the weight of the personality of the rebbe upon you when you are in his presence. The awe and the fear of the Master and the adulation that you develop is precisely the environment that makes the disciple humble and thereby a receptacle for learning Torah. It's that relationship between Master and disciple that bonds the two. Learning Torah is a "discipline." (Note the relationship between disciple and discipline... something our contemporary educators and students are failing).

AND ACQUIRE FOR YOURSELF A COMPANION . . .

A Rebbe is a mentor; a companion is a sounding board. A Rebbe is a teacher; a companion is a confidant.

Not that their respective roles cannot overlap; in fact they often do. But everyone needs another, a friend to whom he can unburden the pressing secrets on the heart.

Hashem created us with the ability to feel guilt, shame, embarrassment, as well as joy, pride and love. And He planted in us the need to express it. The former are most often suppressed and buried... Who wants to show our skeletons to the world?... And yet when we pile layer upon layer of concealment upon buried pains and shames, they ultimately attack our personality, our health and our relationships with others.

That's the way Hashem made us... we had no say in the matter....but He showed us a remedy. That is "v'dui": confession.

Well, we don't always require confession to a human... only to Hashem. But we very frequently need a listening ear, a compassionate confidant, an understanding companion, and a trustworthy friend... to steady us in troubled times, to anchor us in upsetting moments, to guide us through perplexities... and to share with us the overflowing, irrepressible joys and elations.

"O Chavrusa... O mi'sussa!" says the Talmud... Either a friend or death!

So Yehoshua Ben Prachya says: ACQUIRE A COMPANION!

AND JUDGE ALL MEN CHARITABLY.

Yoshua Ben P'rachya is advising you: If you seek a good rebbe and a good friend... YOU have to be a good disciple and a good friend.

If you see your friend in a good light, interpret his actions positively, even when doubtful... if you exude warmth and understanding to him... you will have gained a good teacher and a good friend. But G-d forbid, should look at him with jaundiced eye, interpret his action negatively, and if you possess envy and jealousy... you will soon find that the "chayn," the favor you had in your friend's eyes will surely dissipate and you will have lost all the good you could have reaped from your teacher and your friend.